Hand in Mine (One Shot)
by AngelicFiend
Summary: One Shot. Ferard. Graphic. Sad. Not all fact. I think that covers it :) P.S I wrote this while listening to I Brought You My Bullets and Three Cheers. Thus the depressing storyline.


**A/N**

**One Shot. Ferard. Graphic. Sad. Not all fact. I think that covers it :)  
P.S I wrote this while listening to I Brought You My Bullets and Three Cheers. Thus the depressing storyline.**

Gerard sat on the edge of his bed, a glass of scotch in his hand. On the rocks, straight. In his other hand was a cigarette, the ash holding on in a slowly elongating tube. Nothing made sense anymore. What was his world without him? Was there any point in going on?

There was a shower running somewhere in the background. Was it him? Had it all perhaps been a bad dream? Maybe he had dozed of and now was awake and still scared. If so, he was sure that _he_ wouldn't mind if he came to bed with him that night. Just to be sure. Make sure he was safe.

Just at that moment, Frank walked into his room, a towel rapped tightly around his slim waist, his body still red from a scorching hot shower. His hair was dripping slightly. No he wasn't the person Gerard wanted to see. Gerard now knew for certain he would never see Mikey again.

Frank sat on the bed next to Gerard a placed his hand on his leg. There was nothing much else he could do. He'd never been good at comforting.

Gerard turned his eyes to Frank, almost giving him a puppy face. "If I took a few too many, I could join him, you know..." Gerard said slowly, his voice slurred. Frank then saw the bottle on the bedside table. Mikey's dexamphetamines.

"Is that what you think Mikey would have wanted?" Frank asked softly. He had seen Gerard suicidal before. But this was different. Now he realized the other times Gerard would have never done it anyway. But now... now he knew he would if given the chance.

Gerard grimaced then shrugged. "How the hell am I supposed to know? He's fucking dead Frankie. DEAD!"

Frank moved closer to him and wrapped his arm around his shoulder, almost protectively. Instinctively holding him away from the pills. "And if there is an afterlife, Mikey would be pissed that you did it. He wouldn't forgive you. And you would be eternally stuck with his disappointment."

"Well then why the fuck did he have to die? He goes off and dies and leaves me to deal with this bull fucking shit alone!" Gerard's shoulders sagged as his body heaved with sobs. Frank stood up and took the now done cigarette from Gerard's hand and then the glass. Finishing the drink in a quick gulp, placed the glass down and sat back next to Gerard.

Gerard looked at his friend. He had been there for him through so much. All of his drug and alcohol issues, his horrible relationships, his failed marriage, his grandmothers death and now the death of his little brother. Who could ask for a better friend? And now he was telling him he wanted to kill himself. _What the fuck are you thinking, Gerard?_

"Frank, I'm sorry." He slurred out. He wrapped both of his arms around him and cried onto his only just dried shoulder.

Frank hugged him back, patting him on the back occasionally. What else could he do?

"Frank. Stay with me the night?" He asked softly. Almost pleadingly.

Frank just nodded. He went to Gerard's chest of draws, pulled out a pair of boxer briefs and slipped them on. They were a bit too big for him, but that didn't matter much.

By the time he had turned around, Gerard had stripped down to nothing but his underwear as well. He climbed into the bed and held the blanket aside for Frank to slip in beside him.

Gerard and Frank both lay on their backs a while, it was odd sleeping on such close quarters when they weren't on the tour bus. Finally Gerard broke the silence. "It will be okay wont it? With Mikey gone... I just... life without him around doesn't seem right. I was the older one. I was meant to die first. Not even once did I imagine a scenario where he was gone first."

Frank rolled onto his side and laid an arm across Gerard. "Of course it will. Mikey was strong. But not immortal. No one could have survived what happened to him. It would have been a fucking miracle if he had of."

Gerard snuggled in close to Frank. They were still for a while, Frank holding Gerard and Gerard snuggled close to him. Frank thought for a moment that Gerard had actually gone to sleep. Instead, Frank felt Gerard's soft lips start to kiss his chest. Frank froze. Yeah, they had fooled around a little before. But that was all publicity want it? Although Catholic, Frank had a very open mind when it came to gay rights. He was straight himself, but why should people who weren't not be happy? Not aloud to marry who they want, have kids with who they want? Maybe Gerard had taken it more seriously, or maybe he was doing it just for the comfort. Right now was not the time to turn him down however.

Gerard moved his kisses up Frank's chest to his neck. Softly he nibbled on the scorpion that was tattooed there. H moved his roaming lips higher finally meeting Frank's in a slow but passionate kiss. He noticed at first Frank was reluctant, but soon Frank was as into it as he was.  
He didn't know why he had started this. Maybe he was needing the closeness of someone familiar. He had always been attracted to Frank. He had never been afraid to show it either. But Frank had always treated him as a friend, and he was pretty sure Frank was straight anyway. So why was he returning his advances?

Frank was surprised with himself. Not a bad surprised, but he was actually enjoying this. He had always had no feelings whatsoever whenever Gerard had kissed him or groped him before. But was that because they had been in public? He ran his tongue along Gerard's lips slowly forcing them open. It wasn't that different from being with a woman. Well, there were no boobs, and there was something hard poking him in his leg, but that was the only difference. At the moment anyway. If things went where he thought they were heading, a big choice was about to come up. Suddenly a flash of guilt ripped through him. He shouldn't be doing this. For starters Gerard was emotionally unstable. It wasn't fair for him to experiment with his sexuality while Gerard was like this. Secondly, Gerard was drunk. Another reason for him to not take advantage of the situation.

"Gee. Stop." Frank pushed himself away slightly from Gerard.

"What is it Frank?"

"We cant do this. Not now. Not with you... like this."

Tears welled in Gerard's eyes. So on top of his already crap day, the one man he thought he could spend the rest of his life with was rejecting right when he thought that it might work after all.  
In his drunken state, he didn't realize the meaning of Frank's words. He just heard the rejection.  
Gerard sat bolt upright. "Frank. I'm... I'm sorry. I should have known. I know you aren't... like me. I shouldn't have forced myself on you like that. It was wrong."

When Frank realized what Gerard meant, he would have laughed if the situation wasn't so serious. "Gerard... That's not it at all... I... I don't want to take advantage of you."

Gerard sat silent for a moment. Then, slowly leaning down he whispered against Frank's lips: "Well I want you too. I want you to do what ever it is you want to me. Make me do what ever you want done to you."

Those words made Frank loose any self control he may have had. He forced his lips tightly against Gerard's, pushing his tongue deep into his mouth. He ran his hands over the sides of Gerard's bare torso.

A moan escaped Gerard's lips with the force and passion in Frank's kiss. It almost sent him over the edge. All thoughts off what had gone on that day were gone. The only thing that mattered was the hear and now. When Frank rolled him onto his back, he instantly wrapped his arms around his waist, trying to mold the two of them together. Fuse one to the other, become one. Rank pulled up for a breath and Gerard moved his lips back to his neck, kissing this time down his "Jinx Removing" side of his neck.

Gerard's lips and hands traversing his body felt like Heaven. All the women he had been with had done nothing without him asking for it. It was almost enough to destroy him. He rolled over and pulled Gerard on top of him. Gerard's lips continued on a journey down his body, stopping right at the top of his, or well Gerard's, boxer briefs.

"We will need to do away with these." Gerard said in a low, husky voice. He tugged slightly in the elastic with his teeth, a cheeky grin on his face. Frank instantly went to pull them off, Gerard moving out of the way momentarily.

Once Frank had disposed of the shorts, Gerard straddled Frank's legs. He looked down and saw that Frank was already full and throbbing with need. Slowly he leaned down, running his tongue over the tip of Frank's hard member. He felt Frank buck as if he had been shocked. It sent a shiver of pleasure through his spine knowing he had caused that reaction from him.

Frank thrust his pelvis up almost on the verge of begging Gerard to continue his ministrations on him. But he didn't need to. Gerard wrapped his mouth around the tip of Frank's member, a tight suction seal forming. Frank felt his entire body respond to the simple action. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, his body broke out in goosebumps and he felt his body tense in anticipation of what was to come.

Gerard moved his mouth slowly lower over Frank's concrete hard member. He gradually went faster and faster. He cupped his balls in one hand, feeling them grow more and more tight. Finally with an almighty moan Frank came in Gerard's mouth. Gerard sat up and swallowed what was in his mouth.

Frank collapsed back onto the pillows, slowly coming back to Earth. He didn't think he had ever had suck a powerful orgasm as he had had then.

After a few moments, Frank finally spoke. "Do you want me to return the favor, Gee?"

Gerard shook his head. "No. You aren't ready yet. I can tell. I can wait."

Frank wasn't sure if he was relieved or not. One part of him wanted to keep going, to keep experimenting and exploring with Gerard. The other part was glad that there was no pressure on him. He decided to take Gerard's advice and wait.

Gerard lay in Frank's arms again, relaxed and feeling better than he thought he would given the circumstances. Finally he decided to confess something.

"Frank... You know, for a very long time... I have loved you, right?"

"You know what Gee. I didn't realize it till now. But I think I have too."

**Story Pic created by RitaWolf from DeviantArt.  
****If you see this RitaWolf Hope you dont mind me using your pic o.O**


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